tak tahu nk start kat mane... dah dekat 6 tahun kawin takkan tak paham2 lagi... i tried my best... to be a good wife, a good mum and most of all, the good daughter in law. never in her eyes i was good enuff. wht did i do wrong? falling in love with her son i guess. can't be something else. haniff converted as a muslim on his own. i did nothing to encourage him. i was never even sure it would be like this. my life from so mixed up to further mixed up. i didn't even have the heart to tell him b4 he left back tht i will be waiting coz i was still in dilemma with my ex.tapi Allah swt maha kaya, sembahyang istikarah berpuluh kali, tanpa niat untuk dijodohkan ngan saper2 he is the one for me. alhamdulillah. sepanjang tempoh berkawan tak pernah sentuh mende2 haram. he said he told his mom he wants to marry me, and thts it..... wht he didn't say is tht he is going to convert....
now, for 6 yrs, with two beautiful girls and lovely home in a different country, culture and so far away from everything i love.... i am not happy. will it ever end? i doubt it. i'm not perfect. heck, i dun even know wht will i turn out to be as a mother in law, or as an old woman myself. life must be hard on her but tht is not the reason to be so bitchy. she is in favor now and tht is wht she wants. but pls, have all u want but stay away from my marriage. i love my husband. shld i answer back? shld i tell her enuff is enuff with this mind game? wht is not meant to be is not meant to be.....
dear heart, have mercy. have a soul to be strong and brave....
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