Sakit hatinya aku bila iman balik ptg tadi. dah la alisya jatuh kat jalan, tak nak pegang tangan skali iman pun nk kuar dari pintu kelas dia pun tergolek jugak. dah aku nk cari kat mana tukang urut kaki? ambik minyak gamat, gosok2 lebih kurang sambil selawat nabi, insya-allah ok la kut esok. tapi itu bukan sbb aku sakit hati. bila dah nk sampai umah, tanya iman "did u finish ur lunch?". dia jawab "yes, but mummy there was this boy sat by our table, pushed my lunch to the floor and the dinner lady said just give it a brush and eat it again!" OMG, bangang nye betina sial tu. suka2 hati je nak anak aku makan mende jatuh kat lantai. kalu sakit aku jugak kena bwk g spital. aku tanya iman, "did u eat it then?". dia jawab "yes coz i was so hungry". sian anak aku... aku tanya dia saper pompuan tuh, dia kata from the pre school....dah la gejala buli membuli ni makin menjadi2. tau la kadang2 kita tak leh kontrol tapi sampai tahap mcm tuh, aku bengang la. kesimpulannya, kaku aku jumpa ngan betina tu, aku cari kete dia, calar2 skit ngan 20p heheheh geram!
masa tgh type nih, iman ngan alisya sibuk nyanyi dlm bilik... bising yg amat! nk tulis apa lagi pun dah blur. sambung la neh....
Monday, 9 March 2009
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
6th Anniversary
Saper sangka, dah 6 tahun kawin ngan haniff... pk2 blk camner kitaorg kawin sedih tapi ALLAH swt maha agung, Dia tahu isi hati hambanya yg dikhianati... takpe la. ada hikmah disebalik apa yg berlaku.
so, pagi tadi bunyi doorbell while feeding the children b/fast. iman nak g skolah, alisya lak sibuk nk tgk in the night garden. so skali bila posmen dtg, kelam kabut aku nk cover sbb tak pakai bra hahahah sauk je apa2 yg boleh. buka pintu ada kotak besar. dah agak dah. ingat dari MIL, rupanya suami ku heheeh syida mesti jeles ada kaler pink. baunya semerbak. thanks baby, u'r the best! so lepas blk anto iman, cepat2 siap kan alisya then put her to bed so i can move on with my next agenda. memasak.. chicken kiev with salad and new potatoes... nk jadi ke citer, dada ayam aku tuh terlampau tebal so tak berapa masak. malu punya pasal (asyik nk masak western je fail :-( ) pergi la jln2 kat garden jap. sejuk yg amat hehehe so cancel nk merajuk. masuk letak ayam dlm oven for 15 min then makan dinner ngan haniff while the girls lari2 cam tak cukup tanah. nk romantic dinner? tak payah mimpi la.... kejap iman dtg nk ayam, kejap alisya nk makan jugak walhal aku dah masak kurma kambing special for them hehehe tak sangka pulak diaorg suka sbb dlm ayam tu letak herb butter. so gambo tak sempat snap sbb tensen. tapi this is our cake.
for u haniff, u r my best fren, my soulmate and the reason y i am stranded in this alien country! i love u xxx
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
insecure
Dua tiga malam ni tidur tak lena. nk dtg bulan lagi kut. sejak pakai alat ni, period dtg sesuka hati je, lama lak tuh. tensen. nak buang, kang tersangkut. bukan taknak tapi byk mende nk pk. haniff pun ada bunyi2 dah nk baby satu lagi. teringin boy tapi bukan kuasa kita. just have to keep on trying.maybe balik dari malaysia nanti think harder.
a friend is coming over to stay for holiday. we never had anybody come around from malaysia, part of family so it is an honor. i have this sense of insecurity. extremelly dangerous! very jealousy but i am not a control freak ( i think...) so few days ago aku mimpi yg bukan2. infidelity... to be honest, dari zaman bujang tak habis2. dari bf,tunang..now husband. never say never... i doubt haniff will do it but it just felt so strong and i always have this huntch. whn she comes, at one point i will leave her in the hse coz i have to send iman to swimming class. skali dlm fb dia komen abt haniff... i feel uncomfortable. menguatkan lagi. she has a husband and they have been having a bit of family issues. syaitan nih mmg suka pecah beraikan manusia. i need some strength, kekuatan keimanan. bila dtg dari family yg jantan suka cari betina, kepercayaan tuh susah skit. i hope it is just syaitan playing with my mind.
Ya.Allah, berila diriku kekuatan keimanan dan ketakwaan.... amin.
a friend is coming over to stay for holiday. we never had anybody come around from malaysia, part of family so it is an honor. i have this sense of insecurity. extremelly dangerous! very jealousy but i am not a control freak ( i think...) so few days ago aku mimpi yg bukan2. infidelity... to be honest, dari zaman bujang tak habis2. dari bf,tunang..now husband. never say never... i doubt haniff will do it but it just felt so strong and i always have this huntch. whn she comes, at one point i will leave her in the hse coz i have to send iman to swimming class. skali dlm fb dia komen abt haniff... i feel uncomfortable. menguatkan lagi. she has a husband and they have been having a bit of family issues. syaitan nih mmg suka pecah beraikan manusia. i need some strength, kekuatan keimanan. bila dtg dari family yg jantan suka cari betina, kepercayaan tuh susah skit. i hope it is just syaitan playing with my mind.
Ya.Allah, berila diriku kekuatan keimanan dan ketakwaan.... amin.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
snowdrop walk
hari ni belanja haniff,iman and alisya makan kat coffee cup shop sbb teringin nk makan roast sunday. kedai ni halal. very good business strategy sbb dulu owner dia mat salleh so pakistani ni beli keep the same menu but change the whole ingredients to halal so he keeps the old customer and get a new customer. 2 in 1!
nk buat sendiri asyik tak jadi so pk punya pk ckp kat haniff "abang, kita g makan luar, any belanja" perghhh..... abang??? hahahaha geli la. mana ada panggil dia abang, dia sendiri yg letak ada la. sekarang ni iman and alisya duk sibuk ikut panggil haniff "yang" hehehehe iman la pagi bgn tidur cakap "morning sayang". angin tul la dia tuh hehehe tak sempat nk snap gambo makan sbb susah la ngan si alisya nih. kejap nk diri atas meja, kejap atas kerusi. malu org tgk kita marah budak2 walhal normal tapi ye la, concious kan. (macam salah eja je! heheeh)
lepas makan haniff cakap i feel soooo kenyang, want to go for a walk? so aku jawab meh la kalu alisya ngan iman tak tidur. so kitaorg pun pergi la west wycombe park. tempat ni best sbb takde anjing so relak skit jalan2 ngan budak2 kalu tak naya asyik kena berhati2. alisya jalan meriah je. iman lak macam tak cukup tanah. bless them, let them enjoy the beautiful park. and the flowers? well, if we came last week it would be more beautiful but nevertheless it was still serene and so full of life. would probably go back for the daffodils. spring is finally coming around. daddy suka spring. whn the daffodils coming out, the cherry blossoms will start shooting as well... oh... things tht i would miss here but my heart is still in malaysia.
oh ya, talking abt malaysia. not really sure i like wht is happening. everyone is not happy, since whn making other ppl happy is the agenda in any country. tapi for me, they shld go back to history and try to tolerate. NOT!!!! until ppl start realizing money is not everything, it will always be the way it is.
not forgetting, my 6th yr anniversary :-) who would have thought there is somebody who wanted someone like me... tht is y i believe, there is someone for someone in this world and it can happen without u know it there. u fall and u get up. u make mistake and u learn.
off to ironing now. so chow chin chow!
nk buat sendiri asyik tak jadi so pk punya pk ckp kat haniff "abang, kita g makan luar, any belanja" perghhh..... abang??? hahahaha geli la. mana ada panggil dia abang, dia sendiri yg letak ada la. sekarang ni iman and alisya duk sibuk ikut panggil haniff "yang" hehehehe iman la pagi bgn tidur cakap "morning sayang". angin tul la dia tuh hehehe tak sempat nk snap gambo makan sbb susah la ngan si alisya nih. kejap nk diri atas meja, kejap atas kerusi. malu org tgk kita marah budak2 walhal normal tapi ye la, concious kan. (macam salah eja je! heheeh)
lepas makan haniff cakap i feel soooo kenyang, want to go for a walk? so aku jawab meh la kalu alisya ngan iman tak tidur. so kitaorg pun pergi la west wycombe park. tempat ni best sbb takde anjing so relak skit jalan2 ngan budak2 kalu tak naya asyik kena berhati2. alisya jalan meriah je. iman lak macam tak cukup tanah. bless them, let them enjoy the beautiful park. and the flowers? well, if we came last week it would be more beautiful but nevertheless it was still serene and so full of life. would probably go back for the daffodils. spring is finally coming around. daddy suka spring. whn the daffodils coming out, the cherry blossoms will start shooting as well... oh... things tht i would miss here but my heart is still in malaysia.
oh ya, talking abt malaysia. not really sure i like wht is happening. everyone is not happy, since whn making other ppl happy is the agenda in any country. tapi for me, they shld go back to history and try to tolerate. NOT!!!! until ppl start realizing money is not everything, it will always be the way it is.
not forgetting, my 6th yr anniversary :-) who would have thought there is somebody who wanted someone like me... tht is y i believe, there is someone for someone in this world and it can happen without u know it there. u fall and u get up. u make mistake and u learn.
off to ironing now. so chow chin chow!
Monday, 23 February 2009
today
gosh, i really dun know whr to start tidying up the house. dila is coming soon and the guest room is not even close to be ready at all. haniff is getting stressed out all the time. work loads, house not finish decorated. he started something but didn't finish hehehe tht is sooo him. the kitchen,bathroom, hall and now the guest room. i am always not well. headache and always feeling i am doing everything so fast. i need to slow down. calm myself b4 i collapse. so many times the girls saw me fell. the doctor cldn't find anything wrong with me but there must be something. maybe disagree with my body system. here, ppl know all sort of medical terms. have to try to learn as well. malasnya sbb sumer nama scientific sgt. nama melayu kan senang. sakit urat, terpeleot,tergelecoh hehehe
g anto iman tadi, ada la kawan tanya baru potong rambut iman. kita pun jwb la ye, naper? dia suka rupanya. dia ckp ngan laki dia anak dia pun suka rambut gitu so.... i am watching this space! tak tahu la tak suka kalu ada org nk copy2 nih. sbb hari2 sekolah dia akan tanya esok iman pakai baju apa, stoking ker tights hehehe bless her. she is nice but kekadang tu rimas :-p
ada kawan sorang tuh copy something jugak, in the end bila kita tanya, nk marah, boleh?
every morning i make sure i call mummy. tanya khabar dia. daddy normally call kat tghari skit sbb time tu tak bz. pagi2 susah skit sbb kalu sembang ngan pak aji punya la byk gossip dia. i get it, he miss me hehehe ngan org lain duk berlaga angin. actually ngan kita pun tgk hari dia mood ok, hah, panjang la celoteh dia. gossip politik la, makan la etc. i miss him dearly. with mummy kalu gaduh normally bengang je tapi daddy, jadi sebak. i think becoz i am quite close to him.
smlm sembang ngan SIL. sian dia nak motivated skit. susah bile duk umah mertua, tak de kawan, nk kuar kena kaut sumer anak2... been there, felt it and it is hard but at least mummy tak duk umah sgt plus dun really interfere. my MIL eventhough nowadays i can see the goodness, still the badness left some scars tht r sooo hard to forgive and forget but i love haniff, so telan je la. kita nih tua nanti tak tahu lagu mana. maybe lebih cerewet dari parent kita org mertua kita. pandai2 la pk sendiri. pastu satu lagi kita je yg boleh pujuk diri kita, tak de org lain dah. kalu nk nangis tuh nangis la tapi after tht, istifar byk2 then calm urself down.
whn i was younger, whn i have problem, wht i did was, i went to every masjid in usj (tht time duk kat usj), then selayang bila pindah umah. i was so stressed with work, love life, family, money etc. in every women's life, they will fall for a bad boy. i did, mine was three hehehe. the last one was really nightmare. malay, kelantanese and so damn proud to be drinking infront of me. wht was tht all abt? jiwa rasa tenang dgn suara azan, ayat2 al-quran... tapi sifat manusia. bila kita perlukan pertolongan DIA, kita mencari. memohon, bertanya. kenapa ujian itu jatuh pada kita. tapi bila kita ok, nak spare 5 min atas sejadah pun susah.
why i put the title "TODAY"? its becoz i have thinking all the things tht i have done, not proud and haunting me for the rest of my life. things tht i hope none of my children will do or think at of doing it.
p/s watched ironman just now, soooo totally crazy for robert downey still hehehe
g anto iman tadi, ada la kawan tanya baru potong rambut iman. kita pun jwb la ye, naper? dia suka rupanya. dia ckp ngan laki dia anak dia pun suka rambut gitu so.... i am watching this space! tak tahu la tak suka kalu ada org nk copy2 nih. sbb hari2 sekolah dia akan tanya esok iman pakai baju apa, stoking ker tights hehehe bless her. she is nice but kekadang tu rimas :-p
ada kawan sorang tuh copy something jugak, in the end bila kita tanya, nk marah, boleh?
every morning i make sure i call mummy. tanya khabar dia. daddy normally call kat tghari skit sbb time tu tak bz. pagi2 susah skit sbb kalu sembang ngan pak aji punya la byk gossip dia. i get it, he miss me hehehe ngan org lain duk berlaga angin. actually ngan kita pun tgk hari dia mood ok, hah, panjang la celoteh dia. gossip politik la, makan la etc. i miss him dearly. with mummy kalu gaduh normally bengang je tapi daddy, jadi sebak. i think becoz i am quite close to him.
smlm sembang ngan SIL. sian dia nak motivated skit. susah bile duk umah mertua, tak de kawan, nk kuar kena kaut sumer anak2... been there, felt it and it is hard but at least mummy tak duk umah sgt plus dun really interfere. my MIL eventhough nowadays i can see the goodness, still the badness left some scars tht r sooo hard to forgive and forget but i love haniff, so telan je la. kita nih tua nanti tak tahu lagu mana. maybe lebih cerewet dari parent kita org mertua kita. pandai2 la pk sendiri. pastu satu lagi kita je yg boleh pujuk diri kita, tak de org lain dah. kalu nk nangis tuh nangis la tapi after tht, istifar byk2 then calm urself down.
whn i was younger, whn i have problem, wht i did was, i went to every masjid in usj (tht time duk kat usj), then selayang bila pindah umah. i was so stressed with work, love life, family, money etc. in every women's life, they will fall for a bad boy. i did, mine was three hehehe. the last one was really nightmare. malay, kelantanese and so damn proud to be drinking infront of me. wht was tht all abt? jiwa rasa tenang dgn suara azan, ayat2 al-quran... tapi sifat manusia. bila kita perlukan pertolongan DIA, kita mencari. memohon, bertanya. kenapa ujian itu jatuh pada kita. tapi bila kita ok, nak spare 5 min atas sejadah pun susah.
why i put the title "TODAY"? its becoz i have thinking all the things tht i have done, not proud and haunting me for the rest of my life. things tht i hope none of my children will do or think at of doing it.
p/s watched ironman just now, soooo totally crazy for robert downey still hehehe
New Sofa cover
Went to Brent Cross IKEA recently and bought a new sofa cover. yg lama akan digunakan utk buat cover kerusi meja makan since iman and alisya selalu buat sepah hheheeh cantik tak? bantal tu haniff yg pilih sbb dia sukeeee bunge2 sekarang. worry? er... sikit2 sbb tak pernah2 suka bunga now suka ... ngeriiiiiii
Friday, 20 February 2009
Sinus
Lama dah tak update. syida dah bising.. malas sbb tak reti nk update ape. lagi pun rumah semak giler, adilah nk dtg in march tapi rumah berterabur. malu. bkn taknak kemas tapi asyik sakit kepala manjang. sinusitus is getting really bad. sampai tak leh buat apa2. pening loya (no, i am not pregnant though i wish hehehe) dengan budak2 pun takleh nak main sangat sbb disturbing my actions with them.
last night p IKEA Brent Cross, bought new cover for my sofa after 6 yrs heheh dah koyak rabak heheh budak2 lasak sgt. kaler biru jugak, denim but darker and stream red color. Haniff berkenan ngan one cushion so bought tht one as well. it looks really nice actually. will have to remember to take pictures so mummy daddy can see. oh, Gha is in surabaya. good for her. envy all her jobs. hari tuh g france,italy etc. now travelling asia. bless her. rezeki tapi tak best kena tinggal kan anak2 yg kecik. eventhough mummy daddy and anjang acik jaga, it still not the same with u taking care of ur own.
K.long is singing again. can't say i blame her but she shld try to find other options as age is growing older. it just not suitable for her anymore.
Jai and Rozi, hopefully r ok and r working their ass to make it work. i really love rozi. so far, ahamdulillah i have two gorgeous and the nice sisters in law anyone can ask. i love k.lina as well. they r both very motherly and very good with people. my parent r so lucky to have them in the family.
Anjang, hopefully she will know wht a germ her love one is. won't be easy but he understands he more than anyone. so all the best to them as well. hopefully we can go back for the wedding.
Acik, just got back from sabah. senyap tupah. takpe la, as long as dia belajo. she is a good sister.
Neeah? in a world of her own heheh bless her, still looking for her indentity. i really hope she learned her lesson so she could move forward and take things more seriously.
Bella, Hareez, Haikal, Hana, MiaB and MiaK (i haven't met yet,looking forward to!) i missed them so much. no very much of an auntie since duduk jauh but try to whn i am back home. iman and alisya loves them to bits.
Haniff, just got back from outstation and they missed their dad sooooo much. i hope i did a good job raising them. respect, not scared.
i am seriously thinking of applying for work. but can i keep up with the new generation? everytime keje always end up with masam muka between collegue? i still need to figure out why am i such a threat to them. i miss malaysia. the ppl, the food, the weather, environment, families and friends. things here r not tht bad. i am more malay still. always have and always be :-)
last night p IKEA Brent Cross, bought new cover for my sofa after 6 yrs heheh dah koyak rabak heheh budak2 lasak sgt. kaler biru jugak, denim but darker and stream red color. Haniff berkenan ngan one cushion so bought tht one as well. it looks really nice actually. will have to remember to take pictures so mummy daddy can see. oh, Gha is in surabaya. good for her. envy all her jobs. hari tuh g france,italy etc. now travelling asia. bless her. rezeki tapi tak best kena tinggal kan anak2 yg kecik. eventhough mummy daddy and anjang acik jaga, it still not the same with u taking care of ur own.
K.long is singing again. can't say i blame her but she shld try to find other options as age is growing older. it just not suitable for her anymore.
Jai and Rozi, hopefully r ok and r working their ass to make it work. i really love rozi. so far, ahamdulillah i have two gorgeous and the nice sisters in law anyone can ask. i love k.lina as well. they r both very motherly and very good with people. my parent r so lucky to have them in the family.
Anjang, hopefully she will know wht a germ her love one is. won't be easy but he understands he more than anyone. so all the best to them as well. hopefully we can go back for the wedding.
Acik, just got back from sabah. senyap tupah. takpe la, as long as dia belajo. she is a good sister.
Neeah? in a world of her own heheh bless her, still looking for her indentity. i really hope she learned her lesson so she could move forward and take things more seriously.
Bella, Hareez, Haikal, Hana, MiaB and MiaK (i haven't met yet,looking forward to!) i missed them so much. no very much of an auntie since duduk jauh but try to whn i am back home. iman and alisya loves them to bits.
Haniff, just got back from outstation and they missed their dad sooooo much. i hope i did a good job raising them. respect, not scared.
i am seriously thinking of applying for work. but can i keep up with the new generation? everytime keje always end up with masam muka between collegue? i still need to figure out why am i such a threat to them. i miss malaysia. the ppl, the food, the weather, environment, families and friends. things here r not tht bad. i am more malay still. always have and always be :-)
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