my parent

hmm... daddy rang me earlier. first he was talkative then he pause for a while. asked him y and he said he is a bit down. oh NO! my dad is down? wht the problem??? well, he was a bt upset with mummy plus with the recent business prolem. well, i let him talk obviously and he goes bla this, bla tht and this and tht and this and tht again. seriously after 37yrs of marriage they still cannot see eye to eye hehehe bless them.
mummy? well, i rang her this morning. she went to IKEA with angah,erre and anjang with Mia B. they bought a sofa and thought it would nice to give her as birthday present. heheeh funny coz i dun know anything abt it but i would still contribute as i am very obedient and very good daughter hahahah anyway back to the sofa, they said it looks like mine but not as nice as mine. its blue but not as blue as mine. in other word, it is not mine. the similarity of them is tht they both come from IKEA hehehe...

aaahhh... so stress... haniff is lip-bit tight now. not sure y? am i being too bossy??? me? but all i ask "if he is not well, dun go to work". "if u r feeling sleepy, go to bed". "can u change the children please". "i dun feel well, can u take over please"...... OH NOOOOOOOOOOO not one of those wives!!!! isk isk isk

Pasta Carbonara

Dapat resepi ni dari Syida (thanks beb!) Batuk ku tak juga getting better. Iman pun sama, si alisya lagi la. makin menjadi2 lak nakal dia isk isk isk Kesian haniff dah 2 hari tak pergi keje ambik cuti jaga kami. Aku dah fed up asyik tak sihat je. So pk punya pk nk masak apa, last2 buka blog syida ada resepi carbonara. basically sama je ngan pasta white sauce. aku tak guna m/room soup. i make it from scratch.
To begin with just chopped some garlic and m/rooms with olive oil (coz haniff lovesssss m/rooms) then put abt 2 tbsp flour until brown then pour in abt 250ml fresh milk while stirring abt the same time coz if u dun it will get lumpy. i pour in some double cream as well around 100ml (lemaknya heheeh) then stir it and seasoned it as well (salt and pepper) then aku masukkan salmon sbb takde sausage, fresh parsley and some mixed herbs (kalu letak leeks lagi sedap). taste, biarkan dia pekat skit then masukkan pasta yg dah direbus. Gaul2 until sebati then hidangkan hehehe bila ada yg lebih, kalu nk panaskan, masukkan susu dlm periuk then heat up cam biase :-)
This week, hari jumaat Dila sampai. kami tak sihat lagi. umah berterabur. Tensennya.......

Kasut Baru hehehe

Ini gambar kasut terbaru saya. Saya membelinya dgn harga £5 hehehehehe Today i went to Sister Pampering for Gaza Aid. Nk pergi awal kena siapkan makan anak2 and suami dulu so kul 230pm. Sampai je ramai dah nk balik. Event ni start dari kul 12-5pm tapi tup tup bila teringin nk buat massage, mehendi,make-up,potong rambut sumer dah penuh and dah tutup gerai isk isk isk so jalan2 je la. beli tudung 2 lai, pin tudung 4 biji adn this shoes. My fren kata it feels comfortable so sauk je la. £5 beb! hehehe boleh la tahan. cam org pakistani pakai. sama cam kasut masa kawin dulu cuma takde tali ka belakang. (Syida, orait tak???)

Batuk ku makin menjadi2. Alisya pun tak berenti2 batuk, kesian. tak sampai hati mendengar. Iman pun suara dah sengau. Aduiii la...asyik tak sihat je kami ni. Rase nk pindah negara aci tak? masa type nih Haniff duk sebelah, sibuk nk tau aku type apa kah kah kah itu la org suruh belajar cakap melayu asyik jawab, malas! hehehe

So, keputusannya aku nk minta keje kat PTD. kalu dapat, kira pack ur stuff and off u go. kalu tak, duk sini lagi la. Hidup mesti berani ambik cabaran. Kalu tak duk la jadi katak bawah tempurung. (but wht if things didn't work out the way we wanted it to be? If me and haniff drifted apart.........)

Wht is wrong people?

Apa la dosa aku minggu nih... iman jatuh, alisya jatuh, then alisya demam, really high temperature since smlm. then tetiba pagi tadi nk mandi kan dia, she was shaking like mad! all her hands and feet were cold and her lips turned blue! i rang the surgery hoping to get an appointment and the receptionist said can u make it at 11am? i said yes and off we go. did we see the nurse? NO, y? coz she was damn busy to see my sick baby! how unprofessional is tht? u ask me to show up b4 11 and whn i was there holding my limp baby with blue lips, u let other ppl go in first? Y? is it becoz my daughter not important enuff? seriously i am sick and tired of the system in this f***** country. i gave it 6 yrs of my life, wasted 6 yrs (apart from being happily married of course!tht was a bless) but the rest? SUCKS! i wanna go home.....

Geram

Sakit hatinya aku bila iman balik ptg tadi. dah la alisya jatuh kat jalan, tak nak pegang tangan skali iman pun nk kuar dari pintu kelas dia pun tergolek jugak. dah aku nk cari kat mana tukang urut kaki? ambik minyak gamat, gosok2 lebih kurang sambil selawat nabi, insya-allah ok la kut esok. tapi itu bukan sbb aku sakit hati. bila dah nk sampai umah, tanya iman "did u finish ur lunch?". dia jawab "yes, but mummy there was this boy sat by our table, pushed my lunch to the floor and the dinner lady said just give it a brush and eat it again!" OMG, bangang nye betina sial tu. suka2 hati je nak anak aku makan mende jatuh kat lantai. kalu sakit aku jugak kena bwk g spital. aku tanya iman, "did u eat it then?". dia jawab "yes coz i was so hungry". sian anak aku... aku tanya dia saper pompuan tuh, dia kata from the pre school....dah la gejala buli membuli ni makin menjadi2. tau la kadang2 kita tak leh kontrol tapi sampai tahap mcm tuh, aku bengang la. kesimpulannya, kaku aku jumpa ngan betina tu, aku cari kete dia, calar2 skit ngan 20p heheheh geram!

masa tgh type nih, iman ngan alisya sibuk nyanyi dlm bilik... bising yg amat! nk tulis apa lagi pun dah blur. sambung la neh....

6th Anniversary

Saper sangka, dah 6 tahun kawin ngan haniff... pk2 blk camner kitaorg kawin sedih tapi ALLAH swt maha agung, Dia tahu isi hati hambanya yg dikhianati... takpe la. ada hikmah disebalik apa yg berlaku.

so, pagi tadi bunyi doorbell while feeding the children b/fast. iman nak g skolah, alisya lak sibuk nk tgk in the night garden. so skali bila posmen dtg, kelam kabut aku nk cover sbb tak pakai bra hahahah sauk je apa2 yg boleh. buka pintu ada kotak besar. dah agak dah. ingat dari MIL, rupanya suami ku heheeh syida mesti jeles ada kaler pink. baunya semerbak. thanks baby, u'r the best! so lepas blk anto iman, cepat2 siap kan alisya then put her to bed so i can move on with my next agenda. memasak.. chicken kiev with salad and new potatoes... nk jadi ke citer, dada ayam aku tuh terlampau tebal so tak berapa masak. malu punya pasal (asyik nk masak western je fail :-( ) pergi la jln2 kat garden jap. sejuk yg amat hehehe so cancel nk merajuk. masuk letak ayam dlm oven for 15 min then makan dinner ngan haniff while the girls lari2 cam tak cukup tanah. nk romantic dinner? tak payah mimpi la.... kejap iman dtg nk ayam, kejap alisya nk makan jugak walhal aku dah masak kurma kambing special for them hehehe tak sangka pulak diaorg suka sbb dlm ayam tu letak herb butter. so gambo tak sempat snap sbb tensen. tapi this is our cake.


for u haniff, u r my best fren, my soulmate and the reason y i am stranded in this alien country! i love u xxx

insecure

Dua tiga malam ni tidur tak lena. nk dtg bulan lagi kut. sejak pakai alat ni, period dtg sesuka hati je, lama lak tuh. tensen. nak buang, kang tersangkut. bukan taknak tapi byk mende nk pk. haniff pun ada bunyi2 dah nk baby satu lagi. teringin boy tapi bukan kuasa kita. just have to keep on trying.maybe balik dari malaysia nanti think harder.
a friend is coming over to stay for holiday. we never had anybody come around from malaysia, part of family so it is an honor. i have this sense of insecurity. extremelly dangerous! very jealousy but i am not a control freak ( i think...) so few days ago aku mimpi yg bukan2. infidelity... to be honest, dari zaman bujang tak habis2. dari bf,tunang..now husband. never say never... i doubt haniff will do it but it just felt so strong and i always have this huntch. whn she comes, at one point i will leave her in the hse coz i have to send iman to swimming class. skali dlm fb dia komen abt haniff... i feel uncomfortable. menguatkan lagi. she has a husband and they have been having a bit of family issues. syaitan nih mmg suka pecah beraikan manusia. i need some strength, kekuatan keimanan. bila dtg dari family yg jantan suka cari betina, kepercayaan tuh susah skit. i hope it is just syaitan playing with my mind.

Ya.Allah, berila diriku kekuatan keimanan dan ketakwaan.... amin.

snowdrop walk

hari ni belanja haniff,iman and alisya makan kat coffee cup shop sbb teringin nk makan roast sunday. kedai ni halal. very good business strategy sbb dulu owner dia mat salleh so pakistani ni beli keep the same menu but change the whole ingredients to halal so he keeps the old customer and get a new customer. 2 in 1!

nk buat sendiri asyik tak jadi so pk punya pk ckp kat haniff "abang, kita g makan luar, any belanja" perghhh..... abang??? hahahaha geli la. mana ada panggil dia abang, dia sendiri yg letak ada la. sekarang ni iman and alisya duk sibuk ikut panggil haniff "yang" hehehehe iman la pagi bgn tidur cakap "morning sayang". angin tul la dia tuh hehehe tak sempat nk snap gambo makan sbb susah la ngan si alisya nih. kejap nk diri atas meja, kejap atas kerusi. malu org tgk kita marah budak2 walhal normal tapi ye la, concious kan. (macam salah eja je! heheeh)
lepas makan haniff cakap i feel soooo kenyang, want to go for a walk? so aku jawab meh la kalu alisya ngan iman tak tidur. so kitaorg pun pergi la west wycombe park. tempat ni best sbb takde anjing so relak skit jalan2 ngan budak2 kalu tak naya asyik kena berhati2. alisya jalan meriah je. iman lak macam tak cukup tanah. bless them, let them enjoy the beautiful park. and the flowers? well, if we came last week it would be more beautiful but nevertheless it was still serene and so full of life. would probably go back for the daffodils. spring is finally coming around. daddy suka spring. whn the daffodils coming out, the cherry blossoms will start shooting as well... oh... things tht i would miss here but my heart is still in malaysia.

oh ya, talking abt malaysia. not really sure i like wht is happening. everyone is not happy, since whn making other ppl happy is the agenda in any country. tapi for me, they shld go back to history and try to tolerate. NOT!!!! until ppl start realizing money is not everything, it will always be the way it is.

not forgetting, my 6th yr anniversary :-) who would have thought there is somebody who wanted someone like me... tht is y i believe, there is someone for someone in this world and it can happen without u know it there. u fall and u get up. u make mistake and u learn.

off to ironing now. so chow chin chow!